Tag Archives: WSPD

Things To Say To Someone Who Is Suicidal

When someone is suicidal it can be difficult to know what to say. You can be scared that something will make the person feel worse and even push them over the edge. However talking to someone who is suicidal is so important. It can make such a difference and can be so helpful. Below are a few things that may be helpful to say.

1. “I care if you’re here or not”

This simple phrase means a lot as when feeling suicidal it can feel like noone cares whether you are around or not. You feel useless and a burden and just think that it’s for the best of everyone if you are gone. Hearing that people care can hit deep and although it may be hard for us to believe it is still good to hear.

2. “You deserve love and support”

When you’re feeling suicidal you can feel like you deserve nothing but to be gone. You most likely don’t feel worthy of love and support so being reminded we are can be important. It may also help us to reach out further if we feel like maybe it is OK for us to ask for help.

3. “You are good at…”

When feeling suicidal it can be impossible to believe you are good at anything. Telling someone they are good at something and if possible providing evidence of how good they are at it can really help. They may not accept the compliment easily or at all but it will quite possibly stick in their mind when they are thinking the worst of themselves.

4. “I will stick by you”

Knowing we have someone by our side is really important. Feeling suicidal can feel really lonely. We may feel totally on our own. We also may feel that we are upsetting people by the way we feel and they might leave us. This can make us feel worse and like life is even less worth living. Knowing we do have someone offers hope.

5. “I don’t know what to say but I will listen”

It’s OK to say if you don’t know what to say and rather than pretending you do know it’s OK to say you don’t know. What is more important is that you are there to listen and support and that we know you’re there.

If you are trying to support someone who is feeling suicidal it is important that you take care of yourself as well. You are important too.

For more support you can contact the Samaritans or the crisis lines in the menu. Or you can contact a health professional.

If you have more ideas of things to say to someone who is feeling suicidal then please share in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

Picture from Pinterest

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World Suicide Prevention Day 2018

Suicide. It’s still a taboo subject. So many people are scared to talk about it. And even when they do they’re not sure what language to use. In 2017 there were 6213 deaths by suicide in the UK and Republic of Ireland. The highest rate in the UK was for men aged 45-49. The suicide rate for men has decreased and is the lowest it’s been for 30 years, however female suicide rates have remained the same for the last 10 years.

All these statistics are shocking. That is 6213 deaths by suicide too many. So what can be done to change that number? I’m no expert but I feel we need to keep pushing forward with getting people to open up. Talking helps. It’s undeniable. The problem we have though is making sure there are enough people to listen. It all comes down to money as it so often does in mental health care. We need to have more money to fund more resources so people have a place to go to talk, where they can get expert support. Charities do an amazing job at plugging some of the gaps but it seems not to be enough. The politicians need to start looking at these statistics more seriously. To stop what really are preventable deaths.

Another thing I want to see change is the separation of male and female suicide. Yes, I understand more men are dying by suicide but clearly something is wrong when the male suicide rate is decreasing yet the female rate remains consistent. Every death by suicide is one too many regardless of gender. We need to tackle all suicide, male or female. Sometimes it feels like females who die by suicide are forgotten and this should not be the case at all. One life lost is enough.

So why am I writing all this? Why do I care? Because it could of been me. I could of been a statistic. I’ve tried to end my life five times. I still struggle with suicidal thoughts on a regular basis. Behind each of those statistics are people. People with a story. People with loved ones who miss them daily. People who have been let down. It’s not just a number. It’s about lives lost. And it doesn’t even begin to quantify the number of lives effected by those losses. Things need to change.

If you are feeling suicidal please reach out. It’s tough and probably a really difficult conversation but it will be one of the most important ones of your life. You deserve help and love. You are worthy no matter what your mind is telling you. And people do care. I care. I’m not going to promise it will be easy but it will be worthwhile.

For more information on suicidal feelings check out the Mind website here. For support you can contact the Samaritans here. For suicide warning signs check out my blog post here. And if your feeling suicidal please read this.

To keep up to date or share with me feel free to use the comments or Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

World Suicide Prevention Day 2017

It’s another World Suicide Prevention Day and I pondered for a while about what to write. Especially as this year I find myself feeling increasingly suicidal. Then it came to me. This post will be about some of the things I wish people knew when I feel suicidal. This is personal to me so others may be different. Please be aware that some of the content may be triggering.

1. “It’s not selfish”- The first thing on my list that I want you to know is that suicide and suicidal thoughts are rarely selfish. Yes, the person may want to end their own suffering, but a lot of the time they believe they are ending everyone else’s as well. When I am feeling suicidal I spend a lot of time thinking of others. I believe that those around me would benefit from my suicide. It is far from selfish.

2. “Language matters”- This may be a small one but saying someone has “committed” suicide is incorrect. “Committed” implys it is a criminal act, which it hasn’t been since 1961 in England and Wales. It is more appropriate to say “died by suicide”. It may seem small but people that die by suicide are not criminals, they are people who were unwell.

3. “You don’t need to fix me”- This is probably a hard one for anyone hearing that someone they care about is considering suicide. It is in our natures to want to solve the problems of others and make things more bearable. But sometimes this is just not possible. Sometimes things can not be easily fixed, and that is OK. It’s OK if you don’t know what to say to help me. I understand and you just being there for me to talk and reach out to is enough at the moment. Please don’t beat yourself up for not being able to fix everything.

4. “It’s not attention seeking”- I can not stress this enough. People who tell you they are suicidal are not doing it to just gain attention most of the time. If someone tells you they are suicidal they are trying to tell you they are hurting. That at the moment their life feels hopeless. It is more saying they need someone to listen and sometimes help. This can be by getting them to access mental health services or just by being a listening ear. I know this might sound contradictory to what I said about not wanting you to fix us but this help is not about you solving all our problems, it is about helping us solve our own issues.

5. “Suicide is not cowardly”- Another point I can not stress enough. Suicide, in my eyes, is far from a cowardly act. If someone is feeling that desperation to make things better they are far from a coward. To take that step into the unknown, to me, feels extremely brave. How can they know what comes next will be better? It is a scary place to find yourself, contemplating your own death. There are so many what ifs. I have made two attempts on my own life and both took extreme courage to get that far. Anyone battling suicidal thoughts is brave in my eyes.

So there you have a few things I would like others to know about suicide and suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts there is help out there. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For more information on suicidal thoughts check out the Mind website.