Tag Archives: laughter

A Letter To My Best Friend

This is a personal piece. Please be aware some content may be triggering.

Dear M,

You have stuck by me for a very long time. 13 years we have known each other and in my mind we just seemed to click straight away. You made joining a new university in my second year, when everyone has already made good friends, less daunting. You didn’t mind me sitting with you. You were awesome.

I feel our friendship cemented itself quickly and more so when we worked together on the project away from uni. You made me laugh a lot. We seem to have a very similar style of humour. Working together seemed easy. It was definitely the best paired work I’ve done and the most enjoyable.

When you left uni soon after, I missed you a lot. I was determined to keep this friendship. It meant, and still does, a lot to me. I loved that we messaged each other nearly everyday. It was/is so easy to talk to you and I always look forward to seeing you.

You were the main person to encourage me to get help for my mental health. You were so supportive and made yourself available at all times even when you weren’t doing the best yourself. I’m forever grateful for this. You even stuck by me after the suicide attempt. You’ve dealt with so many of my attempts to end my life.

You’ve also been my biggest cheerleader. Helping me push through to finish my degree, helping me do something special for my 21st, and celebrating me graduating. There’s been many milestones since as well and you are always the first person I want to, and normally do, tell. You push me to do what you know I’m good at. You can see my potential.

I’ve loved being a part of your milestones too. Going to your hen party was a high. Seeing you get married was special. And meeting your children has been one of my favourite things. Plus graduating on top of working and being a mum. It may not of been my right but I felt so proud of you, as I still do.

You are an amazing person. You are kind, caring and supportive. You make yourself available to me even with everything in your life. Your family has been amazing to me too and that must be to do with you. I feel comfortable with you, something that doesn’t come easy to me with people. You are special. You always know just what to say and that includes you saying you don’t know what to say. You’re honest with me. I trust you.

So the main point of this is to say thank you. Thank you for being part of my life and allowing me to be part of yours. Thank you for being there and supporting me. The last time I was in A&E you text me the whole time even though you must of been busy and that meant so much to me. I know I’m not the easiest person to be friends with and I’ve worried you repeatedly (I’m so sorry for this) but you’ve stuck by me again and again.

You were the person I wanted with all the news of mum’s cancer. Lockdown has made me miss you like crazy but you’ve shown me our friendship can last through time and distance. I hope you feel the same.

I know I may not be your best friend but you are certainly mine. I would not be here without you. Thank you for being you.

Love Jo x

Dear GP 2

There is an amazing account on Twitter called Dear GP where people write letters to their GP about their encounters with mental health professionals in the same way mental health professionals write letters about their patients to their GP. You can visit the website here. I thought I would have a second go at this below after an encounter during lockdown. My first attempt is here.

Dear GP

Today I had a telephone consultation with care coordinator M due to the current lockdown conditions. This was an unscheduled appointment and was preceded by a text message which stated that she wanted to talk to me straight away and was demanding of immediate contact without considering my prior commitments.

When we spoke to each other on the phone, M was in a jovial and friendly mood. She seemed to need reassurance about our working relationship due to comments from other staff members based on what she had said. She denied she had said anything to other staff members about our working relationship and stated “we work well don’t we?”. Her need for reassurance shows, I believe, an insecurity and possible fear of abandonment.

We then discussed my mental wellbeing. Here M was keen to show that everyone is struggling and dismissed suicidal ideation. Her concentration during this part of the conversation seemed to dip and she appeared to want this to end quickly.

Her next actions I believe confirm her fear of abandonment. She decided to put an end to our working together stating a too high workload. She did however say that I could always let her know good news. She seemed not to wish to cut ties completely showing difficulty with endings.

Overall I think M may need to work on her social skills but I do not wish to see her again and feel she will be fine under your care. Please do not rerefer.

Yours

Jo

Feel free to share your own experiences in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

Positives From Lockdown

Lockdown has been a hard time for so many people, myself included but I’ve also found some positive things have come from lockdown too. Therefore I thought I’d look at my positives.

1. A lockdown birthday

I had my birthday in June when everything was still pretty much shut and we could barely see anyone. It was one of my favourite birthdays. I went for a picnic and a walk and then went home and did what I wanted. No pressure whatsoever. So I reckon on my birthday we should have a lockdown each year.

Birthday walk and picnic

2. The 2 metre rule

Yep it’s been the bane of so many people but I want to keep this forever. I now have a reason to tell people to get out of my personal space or to move away from them without appearing rude. Long may it continue with people we don’t want to be near.

Picture from Pinterest

3. Wildlife returning

During my walks I have had great pleasure in spotting different wildlife that has returned to our local park. We had a regular heron (named Herbert by me and adopted by others). We also had some Little Egrets. We also got to see the regular geese, ducks and coots have their offspring. I got particularly involved with one pait of coots who had a tragedy when their nest was destroyed. Wildlife is amazing.

Herbert

4. Finding new hobbies

I have taken up drawing again. It’s something I’ve not done in years but I seem to of improved over the lockdown period. I’ve enjoyed extending my range and developed some confidence in this area. I even set up Facebook and Instagram pages for my art. I’ve also managed to do more Lego building, which I love but just could never find the time for. I’ve adapted my routines to incorporate these things.

A drawing of mine

5. Getting things done

I have managed to get so many jobs done. Things I’ve always put off as I’ve been to busy or tired to do them. I’ve enjoyed them too. It’s not just been the mundane daily life jobs but things I wouldn’t normally get to do. I built my mum’s Christmas present from 2018 for her which I’d been meaning to do since she received it.

Making Mum’s Christmas present from 2018

Overall lockdown has been tough for me and many others. It has by no means been a positive experience fully but there are positive bits in there. Sometimes we forget these among all the talk of death and failing businesses. What have been your positives? Feel free to share in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

The How To Guide To Kindness

Step 1: How are you feeling? Are you able to look after yourself as well as offering kindness? A self check-in is important.

Step 2: What kindness is needed? Is it straight away in the form of a listening ear or a smile? Or can it be planned, like a letter or card?

Step 3: Offer kindness. It may be that at this time it is not wanted. That’s OK. Save it for later. By offering that’s a kindness in itself.

Step 4: Do you feel OK after the act of kindness? Is there anything that it has brought up in you that you need to deal with? This especially important when listening to others. Also do you need to carry out some self care if the kindness has taken from you? That’s OK. Do it.

Step 5: There is no need share the act of kindness on social media. These acts are a personal thing for the other person.

Step 6: Be proud of yourself for being kind. Know you have done something for another person and made the world that much better.

Random acts of kindness are also a lovely thing. You might not know if someone needs a particular type of kindness so be kind anyway. Make the world that bit better.

Lost In Lockdown

So it seems like the world has been shut down for forever. Everyone is finding it tough. People are losing loved ones or being kept away from them at least. Life is restricted. Unfortunately my mental illness has decided to take advantage of this situation to cause ultimate unpleasantness.

I know this lockdown is not fun for anyone. I’m not pretending that I’m the only one negatively effected. Everyone seems to be in the same boat. But unfortunately that doesn’t help make it easier. In fact it’s making it harder. I feel guilty that I need support. I feel like a burden when I know so many are struggling to deal with this. I hate myself for being able to access support yet still feel on the edge.

The thing is I know I would tell any of my friends who are mentally ill and struggling that it’s OK and mental illness doesn’t make it easier but harder. That it will impact you more as you have to work harder than everyone else to stay well. I’ve even said these words to others. But I can’t apply it to me.

I think also that as things that help keep me more stable have been removed temporarily due to the lockdown this is going to make it harder. I’ve been lucky that my mental health team have given me permission to exercise more than once a day. This is allowed for medical reasons. (For more information click here.) But there are other things I’m missing that I’d not even realised I needed.

Social contact for me has always been exhausting and something I need a break after. I thought I’d be OK without it as I still can contact friends and others through social media or WhatsApp. But it turns out I need to physically see people. I need hugs. I need to be closer to them. I miss them. Yes I may need quiet time after but I still need the contact.

While we can all say lockdown is not our ideal situation I have found some things that are helping keep me a little bit saner (never completely sane, that ship sailed long ago). I’ve rediscovered things I liked doing. I’ve discovered I’m more skilled in them than I thought and that they can help others feel better. Drawing has been a major one for me, with me drawing animals and characters for others and children.

I’ve also found it useful to set myself projects. I’ve put together things I’ve been meaning to do for ages, I’ve built Lego I’d been meaning to make or made friendship bracelets for others. Focusing on this one thing has helped me keep moving and not dropping into deep despair.

The thing is it’s not always helpful. I seem to have a regular Friday night meltdown at the moment. I just disintegrate. My anxiety at times is so high it gives me chronic chest pain. I’ve got an almost constant headache. These are things that I’m struggling to manage. I’ve had a lot of anxiety that I’m going to infect my family. Hair pulling and skin picking have increased along with self harm. Things are not ideal.

Unfortunately there is nothing we can do to make this go quicker but we can help each other. Just checking in is helpful. And we need to ask for support when we need it. Fingers crossed we’ll be able to have some normality soon.

To keep in contact please feel free to use the comments or Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

Jokes And Memes To Get You Through

Yes I am going to inflict my sense of humour on you all. Sometimes we need to laugh. In Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) there is a skill called Opposite Action where we do something to make us feel the opposite feeling. So I thought I’d produce some humorous (in my opinion) content to help. Good luck to you all reading this.

Jokes

Bare with me. I find them funny.

How do you make Pikachu get on a bus? Pokemon

Who designed King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference

What do you call a pig who does Karate? A pork chop

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear

What do you call an acid with attitude? A-Mean-O acid (ammino acid, yes its a science joke, it may not be the last)

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They just don’t have the guts

What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn

What do you call a bee that comes from America? A USB

Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? Just Kitten

What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music

Memes and things

Puns

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I used to think I was indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost the case.

Velcro – what a rip off.

She had a photographic memory but she never developed it.

I’m a natural sleeper. I can do it with my eyes closed.

I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.

I bought a boat because it was for sail.

Feel free to share any of your own jokes in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.