Category Archives: kindness

Kindness At A Higher Level

We live in a society that is often far from kind. I’m not talking about individuals, I’m talking about policy and societal norms. Being individually kind is important but we need kindness as a society to make a larger change.

Unfortunately we live in a world led my money rather than kindness and what is best for people. I can understand this. Money is finite and so we have to spend with care and this can mean cuts that are the opposite of kindness. We see this in mental health services all the time. People are turned away as not sick enough or not enough resources. People are sent miles from home when unwell and needing the kindness of family close by. There are some changes that really need to be made and cutting more and more is doing the opposite of kindness and therefore worsening mental health issues at times.

Also as a society we are far from kind to those who attempt to end their life. Many are labelled attention seeking and selfish. Many a person has been heard on a train that has hit a person berating them for ending their life and delaying people. The kindness that this person needed appears to of been absent in their life and their death. Instead of asking what could of been done to help them before this event they are condemned for seeing no other way out.

Society is also cruel in its use of social media. While social media can be great there are the trolls and the nasties who are far from kind. They band together to bring cruelty to one person. They push people over the edge as they can’t show kindness. They condemn people as guilty before hearing the full story. They forgot that a little kindness could improve the world and keep people alive.

By changing our outlook from the top down we could prevent so many deaths. By acting as a society we could improve life for many. It’s time to unite to be kind as well as individual acts of kindness.

I’d love to hear your views so feel free to share in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

Self-kindness

Being kind to others is important but there is someone we tend to overlook when we are sharing kindness and that is ourselves. We deserve to be kind to ourselves however alien it may be and how little we feel we deserve it. Believe me I’m the first to admit I’m far from kind to myself with negative self talk and lack of care for myself. But there are some ways we can all be kind to ourselves and I thought I’d share a few.

1. Getting sleep

Our sleep routine is really important to our mental health. By getting sleep we are being kind to ourselves. Staying awake to get things done can feel like what we need to do but if we show ourselves kindness by at least trying to get some good sleep then we will be more productive.

2. Eating well

We’ve all heard this one I’m sure. But it is true that it makes you feel better and allows you to fight other illnesses more effectively. This is showing a real kindness to yourself.

3. Exercise

Again we’ve heard it lots but it can really help our mood to stay active. I’m not saying run a marathon (believe me I can barely run a mile) but just a short walk can help. It is kind to ourselves although it may not feel like it before we start.

4. Positive self talk

This is a huge one linked to kindness. It’s also one I struggle with on a huge scale. If we are kinder in the way we talk to ourselves it can improve our mood and motivation. But boy is it hard. Everyone has told me to either imagine talking to a friend or to the child I was. Would you say the mean things you say to yourself to them? Like I said I really struggle with this one. Maybe we can start by saying one kind thing to ourselves a day.

5. Showers/baths

As well as keeping you clean they can be relaxing. Show yourself some kindness by giving yourself some time to look after your body. Make it feel nice. Embrace it.

6. Treating yourself

This is the kindness that a lot of us can’t allow ourselves but we are allowed nice things. We are allowed that bar of chocolate or that new book. There doesn’t need to be a special occasion to make ourselves feel OK or to treat ourselves.

Being kind to ourselves is alien. Society has made us think it makes us selfish. It’s not. It’s self care. It’s looking after yourself which in turn helps you look after others.

What ideas for self kindness do you have? Feel free to share in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

The How To Guide To Kindness

Step 1: How are you feeling? Are you able to look after yourself as well as offering kindness? A self check-in is important.

Step 2: What kindness is needed? Is it straight away in the form of a listening ear or a smile? Or can it be planned, like a letter or card?

Step 3: Offer kindness. It may be that at this time it is not wanted. That’s OK. Save it for later. By offering that’s a kindness in itself.

Step 4: Do you feel OK after the act of kindness? Is there anything that it has brought up in you that you need to deal with? This especially important when listening to others. Also do you need to carry out some self care if the kindness has taken from you? That’s OK. Do it.

Step 5: There is no need share the act of kindness on social media. These acts are a personal thing for the other person.

Step 6: Be proud of yourself for being kind. Know you have done something for another person and made the world that much better.

Random acts of kindness are also a lovely thing. You might not know if someone needs a particular type of kindness so be kind anyway. Make the world that bit better.

Kindness

“If you can be anything, be kind.”

Kindness. In my mind it is the most important thing in this world. If I brought children into this world it would be the main thing I’d want them to be along with happy. It’s the thing we can give to anyone for free (in money terms).

So why is kindness so important?

How would you feel if you weren’t feeling great and someone was nasty to you? How does it make you feel when someone shows you that little bit of kindness instead? That is the difference between being unkind and kind. It can make the world of difference to people. It can help them feel more positive or more able to deal with whatever they are facing. They will know someone cares about them. They will see that they are worthy of kindness.

Being unkind can have serious consequences. We have seen some examples of people taking their own life when they are exposed to extreme unkindness in the media. We then see the outcries from the same people dishing out this unkindness to be kind. If we were kind in the first place maybe these reminders wouldn’t be needed. We never know what someone else is going through.

How can we be kind?

The main way we can be kind is to think about the way we act towards others. We need to think about what our words and actions do to others. How would they make us feel if someone was to do the same to us? Do we really need to say something mean or in that particular tone of voice? Is there another way to get our point across?

Other ways to be kind can include reminding people of their value, listening to them, being there for them or helping them out. Think about what you’d like people to do for you in different situations and how maybe you could do something similar.

Boundaries

Being kind is important. But we also need to make sure we look after ourselves while being kind. Part of this is putting some boundaries in place. We need to make sure that we are not giving everything to others at expense to ourselves. We need to know we can say no and still be kind. It is possible and true.

So how do you show kindness? I’d love to hear your ways. Feel free to share in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

Picture from Pinterest