Please be aware that some of the content may be triggering. Please take care 💚
I explained this new little series in an earlier post ➡️ Chaotic Cancer: A Family Member’s View: Intro
So with diagnosis you think the next step is treatment but oh no there is an endless round of tests and appointments to deal with. And it’s stressful for all involved.
A lot of these appointments and tests happen at the last minute so it is extremely hard to plan things around them. Things get changed at the last minute and the term chaotic is very apt.
For someone who needs routine and control this has been extremely hard for me to deal with. It’s not easy for anyone but this has added to the stressfulness of the situation. I can feel the anxiety in me about a change in routine. It’s selfish I know. Or that’s what I’m telling myself. What’s my anxiety to my mum’s cancer?
Having a lack of control over the situation and life in general leads me back to my reliable coping mechanisms. Not good ones. Self harm is back. And honestly I have no shame about it. I know I need better ways to cope. But currently don’t have the time.
For anyone going through this, how did you cope with the appointments? My phone calendar has never looked so full and I think that is the only thing giving me any sense of control, having all the dates in there.