This is a personal piece. Please be aware some content may be triggering.
I’m currently sitting here feeling jealous and as far removed from the mental health twitter community as possible. I feel like I’m not good enough and that my voice doesn’t matter.
The thing is I hate myself for feeling this way. I’m very lucky to be in this position with my blog growing. It’s taken a lot of hard work though and I feel like maybe people don’t appreciate this. But I shouldn’t feel this way. I don’t do this for follows or awards. I keep telling myself this but sometimes a little recognition would be nice.
Jealousy though is something that bothers me a lot though. In everyday life I am jealous of others and I truly hate myself for it. I should be happy for others who are achieving and going places. For those that have houses, careers and families. Yet I have none of that. I feel I barely have any friends either.
Don’t get me wrong I am not totally alone and I love the friends I do have as they are amazing but sometimes I wish I was one of the cool kids (this may be part of the problem as I’m nearly 30 so far from a kid 😎). I wish that people took notice of what I do and said well done or celebrated me in some way. This makes me sound shallow I know but we all need reassurance and recognition that we’re doing OK.
So I’m just going to encourage you to tell people when they’re doing well or if what they’re doing matters to you. (I’m not expecting you to say nice things to me I promise). One way that people in the mental health blogging and social media world can do this is via the MH Blog Awards. If there is someone you think should be recognised you can find all the info here (again I’m not asking you to nominate me but someone you feel is worthy of recognition).
Picture from Pinterest