I know I’m behind on sharing my therapy journey but today I finished the 6 months of DBT skills therapy and I need to reflect on it so why not share on here.
This six months has been hard. It has opened my eyes to issues I wasn’t even aware I had or maybe issues that I was hiding from. It has taken me to new lows. I’ve seen the crisis team once and made two attempts on my life. At one point it was discussed whether I should carry on with the therapy or whether the risk was too high. But I persevered and here we are at the end.
And how do I feel? I really don’t know. I feel kind of numb and a little lost. I know I’m luckier than most of the people I was in the group with. I have a safety net of a care coordinator and access to the crisis team and duty workers. Yet still I feel abandoned. Originally the therapy was meant to be for twelve months but was halved. I feel I could of done with the extra six months to reinforce the skills that we were learning.
I am kind of proud of myself too. This is an alien feeling but it was an achievement to get through the six months even when it took me to my lowest points. Feeling proud though, is that the right thing to be feeling? I really don’t know.
The people on the course with me have been amazing. They have been there for me at the low points and helped me see ways forward. I’m forever grateful to them. The psychologists running the therapy were amazing and we had laughs throughout the six months. There were also tears but we were well supported. I think this is why it feels such a loss. From having weekly support we are left with very little or nothing.
Overall I’m glad I did the course. I’ve learnt a lot of skills and I hope to integrate them into my every day life rather than them be isolated skills I just try to practice for therapy. I would recommend DBT skills to others. It made me see mindfulness in a different way which was an impressive feat as I was very anti mindfulness at the beginning. It may not always be easy but I can see it’s worth.
Picture from Pinterest