Today, 21st September 2018, is The Blurt Foundation’s first Big Blurtathon. The aim of The Big Blurtathon is to raise awareness of mental ill health and funds for The Blurt Foundation. The theme this year is “we all have a story”. Therefore I thought I would share some parts of mine by answering some questions.
When did you first notice your condition?
My depression started in my early teenage years. I struggled at school with making friendships last and was bullied an awful lot of the time. This, along with some other issues, led to me feeling so low that I began to self harm at the age of thirteen. This is probably when signs of my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) also started to develop too. My anxiety however didn’t get really bad until I was in my twenties.
When did you first get help for your condition?
I hid my illness for a long time. There were many missed opportunities for me to get help. At school my head of year became aware of my self harm but didn’t follow it up. At sixth form college I saw a counsellor briefly and even attended the doctors to ask for help but did not get a good response so didn’t return. I eventually got taken seriously at nineteen after a suicide attempt saw me taken to the accident and emergency department by the police. This was the start of me getting help and support.
Do you take medication?
I do currently take medication. I’m on four different types for my mental illnesses; two antidepressants, an antipsychotic and a mood stabiliser. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my medication. They’re not perfect but they do help.
What do you miss out on because of your condition?
I miss out on quite a lot and can get quite bitter about it and want to punish myself for ‘allowing it’ to win. But it’s not about winning or losing. I have an illness. I currently can’t work due to my mental illnesses which causes lots of negative thoughts in my head but I just have to accept it at the moment. I also struggle with romantic relationships so am currently single. I feel I’m watching all my friends have amazing lives but I just can’t at the moment. With time though I hope to do more.
Would you get rid of your condition if you could?
My answer to this might be surprising but no I wouldn’t get rid of my condition. Don’t get me wrong it is hellish at times but it also makes me who I am. It’s shown me when I can be strong and taught me who my real friends are. I’ve also learnt a lot from it and had some great opportunities.
So there you have a bit of my story. If you have any more questions feel free to use the comments, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. For more on The Blurt Foundation’s Big Blurtathon click here or go to their Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.