Monthly Archives: July 2013

A and E Crisis Care (Originally written for Mind)

This blog was originally published by Mind in support of their campaign for better Crisis Care. For more information on this and other campaigns please check out their website. A link can be found in the useful websites post.

A and E Crisis Care

Imagine you are at your lowest point and on the verge of committing suicide. All you want to do is escape. About 4 years ago I got to this point and it was then that I had my first experience of Psychiatric care for those in crisis.

I had made a suicide attempt and then stopped answering calls from concerned friends which led to them contacting the police in order to locate and help me. I was cornered by two male police officers from the armed response team of my local police force as they were physically the closest pair to my whereabouts. However they were kind and I was then passed to another pair of police officers who continued to look after me and question me about many different things. I was then told they were going to take me to A and E as a voluntary patient otherwise they would have to section me and I “would not like the place where you would have to go as it is really horrible”. This scared me into accepting and we set off in the police car to A and E.

When we arrived at A and E we checked in about 10pm and sat down to wait it out. The police and my parents were with me. Fear of being hospitalised was now coursing through me as my anxiety rose sitting in the very crowded A and E waiting room. I was then asked to the triage area where a nurse asked why I was there. When I responded by saying I had made a suicide attempt I was asked what I expected from them and quite honestly I couldn’t find an answer. I felt already that I did not deserve anything from them and this just totally flummoxed me. What could I expect from them, when I knew I was worth nothing?

I returned to the waiting room where the male police officer with us decided he could entertain me with card tricks. He was amazing towards me and I will be forever grateful to him, and the female officer with him, as they helped with my anxiety in the situation to some degree. My wait continued till just before 1 am when I was taken through to majors. My chat with the doctor was very quick and I was told I’d require blood tests and to see a nurse from the psychiatric team. I had to wait until about half 1 before I saw the psychiatric nurse who took me off for a chat.

As we sat down in the room the first words the psychiatric nurse said to me was that I had not been serious about suicide and therefore they would not admit me. He asked me a bit about my background and when I explained I was a student teacher he started asking me about his children’s education. Within 10 minutes the conversation was over and I was told to wait for my blood tests and then see my GP in a month. My blood tests came back just after 2 am and I was discharged home.

I felt stupid and alone. If it was possible I felt worse than before I was taken into A and E. I really wanted to prove I was serious. I was already planning another attempt. I knew there was no point now in telling a professional as I wasn’t serious about dying. At the time I think part of me saw it as an opportunity as I really wanted to be dead. The only thing that actually stopped me was that my friends and family decided to keep a close watch on me and took me to my GP sooner than was suggested in the Emergency Department. I wonder what may of happened if I hadn’t had their support. Could I of tried again and been successful? Would my death of been seen as unpreventable because of my mental state? Was it something I said that made them feel I wasn’t serious? Who knows the answers but it could have been a very different outcome and this is why I’m supporting the campaign for better crisis care.

Useful Websites

I thought it would be useful for this site to have some useful websites as well as some of interest. For that reason this post will probably be updated and changed as and when I find some good sites.

The first site I have for you is the Facebook Page for this blog.  This Page is for updates to the blog, along with some cool pictures and quotes and any interesting articles or pieces of news. If you like the Blog go and give us a like on Facebook.

Another useful website is which is the website for the charity Mind. They do lots of good work in the UK, campaigning for different issues related to mental health. They also have a blog on their site, which I have contributed to in the past, and I know they welcome would be bloggers.  Another reason this site is useful is that it has a mass of information on what you should expect from your mental health professionals and information about different disorders and treatments.

Time to Change is another useful site to take a gander at. is a campaign to end the stigma surrounding mental health problems. They do a lot of good work and offer opportunities if you wish to get involved. They again have a blog so keep your eyes peeled for that.

An Introduction

Hey and welcome

This is a blog related to issues in mental health and my personal views on them as well as my own personal battles. My aim is to bring attention to some of the issues that are taking place in the world of mental health.

I am based in the UK and so most of my posts will be on issues and events here. If you are from abroad and looking at this then I hope you can gain something from my experiences.

So a bit of background about me. I’m currently diagnosed with Recurrent Depressive Disorder and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (formerly Borderline Personality Disorder). These are the latest diagnoses of a long list I have been labelled with over the years. I am a self harmer and have been since a teenager.

I will try to be honest and factual with this blog and I may refer to other sites in order to get my information. I also intend to be very trigger aware and I hope that if you wish to leave a comment you will be too.

I will post some blog entries that have been published by other organisation and if this is the case I will refer to this in the title.

I hope you find this blog fresh and useful. Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions.